Musings from the Heart of Marie MacAulay

I just wanted to give everyone an update on our bankruptcy court date this morning. Everything went well with the creditor that was concerned with us being able to make the car payment on my husbands car. The Judge in charge recognized that this payment was a much lower payment than my car payment and if things get worse with Worth not being able to find a job in the near future then this is the payment that we would be able to handle on one income. I agree that this is true. If things go as planned from here on out then we will have a charge-off of our debts in a few days as there were no other creditors that were going to fight our situation. It doesn't mean that if our situation gets worse and we can't make our mortgage payment or my car payment then those items could be lost and if that happens it will only because there is no other way to get by so we continue to pray for God's provision as we go forth in this new year!

Thank you to all my friends that have offered such kind words of encouragement! Your friendships mean so much to Worth and myself. Much love to you all.

I've heard it said that the person who dies with the most toys wins! I say that if you're dead and all the toys are left behind, did you truly win? I don't think so, I don't think toys and things are what I want people to remember me by! That being said, let me tell you that if it takes things to make a person happy then I would say I shouldn't be very happy because I don't have an abundance of things in this world. Of course, I have a roof over my head and food in my cupboards, a bed to sleep in. Worth, my husband of 2 1/2 years has been out of work for more than 18 months and no work in sight as of today. So you say what makes me happy? Well I would say the fact that I have a husband and a family, and let's not forget all my friends that love me, is what makes me happy and fullfilled.

Tomorrow morning, Worth and I have to go to the Bankruptcy Court downtown Atlanta, GA. There we will meet with a Court Trustee that will make a decision whether we get to keep our house and our cars and then it will be up to the true owners of those things, (the banks and creditors), if they are going to allow us to keep them. Am I worried, truthfully, no, am I concerned, yes I would say so but am I going to just break down or give up if the answer we get from them is NO? You bet your boots the answer to that is a LOUD NO! For I do not base my happiness or my value as a person on things or possessions. I along with like minded persons and friends are survivors in this day of failing banks and job losses. We will come through this trial eventually and when we get through it we will be better people for the lessons we have learned from it!

Therefore, I say to you, my friends and family, pray for God's will to be done tomorrow morning but don't feel sorry for me because I am blessed with what I need, maybe not everything I want but it is enough for now! My worth, in God's eyes must have been great because I believe that He sent His only Son to die for me and I don't think He did that for anyone who didn't have value or worth in this world!

This is a little personal but hear me out. I have really been thinking over the last couple of weeks about my life and my relationships with my five beautiful grandchildren. I am dissapointed in the Grandma that I have become over the last year. I have let the fact that my husband being out of work come between myself and my kids and my grandkids and that is not right!!! It seems that I am so tired most of the time when I get off work, make dinner, clean up that I just want to take a shower and prop up in bed and detach myself by getting on Facebook! It helps me to destress as I stated before in my earlier post but it doesn't help me to establish a relationship with my grandchildren and show them that I love them very much! It seems that I do not have the energy that it takes to have them over for an evening of watching a movie and dinner together. I would like to get them and take them to a fast food restaurant and maybe a movie out but because of the financial situation we're in we just don't have the money for that so I do nothing at all. What kind of a grandma have I become? I know that I love them with all my heart but I feel that I have abandoned them. I want them to feel that they are very important to me and their grandpa but I don't think that they feel that now. I know I want to be there for them so I ask for those of you who read this blog to pray that I find the energy and time to put them first for a change and shake myself out of this rut I have gotten myself in over the last year! Any comments would be appreciated, whether you want to give me advice or offer me a ray of sunshine or a tidbit of your heart. I promise myself that I WILL go get them next weekend and spend time with them and hug them and tell them how much they mean to me!

Today my daughter, Anna Jones, updated my blog with the Celtic knots and colors. She is so much more talented than I am when it comes to being creative. Thank God, He knows who can handle this type of technology! I feel very blessed to have a husband who loves me, a wonderful family and friends from all over the world. Friends from Canada, Scotland, England, Australia, and of course several states all over the USA! I met some of them last year when I along with about 50,000 Scottish and Irish descendants convened in Edinburgh for an event called "The
Gathering". After that, we all became friends on the popular social network, FaceBook and through that site we keep in touch, sharing our daily lives, touching each others hearts and alot of times just laughing together over trivial things, jokes, funnies causing the funnybones to giggle a little bit. I call the times on my FaceBook my destressing times, the time that I can put aside the worries of everyday living and the events of the day that may have caused me to feel down or exhausted or sad at times and be with friends. We may not be at the local restaurant or pub having a meal or a drink together but we are together in the best way we can be all around the world and for me that is enough for now until we can meet again in reality! I love you, friends and family, you are thought of often and with much love and prayers!

Friends, we all need them in our lives, everyday of our lives. We need them for love, hugs, and encouragement when we are going through some hard times in our daily activities. We need them to keep us on track when we make decisions that might change our entire future. Good decisions or bad, true friends will really let you know what they think if you ask them with an open mind and are ready to hear what needs to be heard! Keep your friends close and your enemies closer I have always heard but I really prefer my friends to be closest to my heart! May my friends list be long and always include those of you who I call my family whether it be biological or by adoption because of my love for you one and all and may it include my sweet husband forever and always!!!

Well, this is a new thing to me! A blogger? Who would have thought, me, one who has a problem expressing herself? Yea, right, you're saying! I have NEVER had trouble voicing my thoughts and opinions on any and all subjects if given the chance!

So, what should this blog consist of? Not sure just yet what I want to have this Blog to be. Should it be my daily updates like I do on Face Book with pictures of myself and my family, same as Face Book. So what do I really want to accomplish with this Blog? To tell you the truth even I do not know at this time. So, let's just start and see what develops. If you have any suggestions please feel free to give me your input and I will consider all or not!

Until tomorrow or the next time I get a free moment, I bid you adieu!!