Musings from the Heart of Marie MacAulay

This is a little personal but hear me out. I have really been thinking over the last couple of weeks about my life and my relationships with my five beautiful grandchildren. I am dissapointed in the Grandma that I have become over the last year. I have let the fact that my husband being out of work come between myself and my kids and my grandkids and that is not right!!! It seems that I am so tired most of the time when I get off work, make dinner, clean up that I just want to take a shower and prop up in bed and detach myself by getting on Facebook! It helps me to destress as I stated before in my earlier post but it doesn't help me to establish a relationship with my grandchildren and show them that I love them very much! It seems that I do not have the energy that it takes to have them over for an evening of watching a movie and dinner together. I would like to get them and take them to a fast food restaurant and maybe a movie out but because of the financial situation we're in we just don't have the money for that so I do nothing at all. What kind of a grandma have I become? I know that I love them with all my heart but I feel that I have abandoned them. I want them to feel that they are very important to me and their grandpa but I don't think that they feel that now. I know I want to be there for them so I ask for those of you who read this blog to pray that I find the energy and time to put them first for a change and shake myself out of this rut I have gotten myself in over the last year! Any comments would be appreciated, whether you want to give me advice or offer me a ray of sunshine or a tidbit of your heart. I promise myself that I WILL go get them next weekend and spend time with them and hug them and tell them how much they mean to me!